Hey, all. I'm starting to recover from NOT being on the road, which is its own type of odd. I had a couple of CDs I always took with me in whatever work car I was assigned that week, one of which included >>this song.<< It's called "Must Land Running" by Stepdad.
It's electronic, and has a good texture, layering sounds off of each other. It has a whimsical flow, rolling from one part to the next, which makes it easy to get into, something that isn't too complex to enjoy casually. However, it's when I listen to the lyrics that something particularly grabs on to me, one of those songs that touches me even when I cannot necessarily understand why until I've listened to it several times.
Oddly enough, the chorus isn't what necessarily grabbed my attention first, but instead the second half of the first verse.
After all these hammers thrown/
after all these broken bones/
I can barely hobble home/
I can barely hobble home.
The song addresses a level of brokenness, as if to say I don't know how we've made it through this far. Or "still kicking" as it were. Then, the chorus shifts the tone.
Feel it all/
Feel it all, feel it all, feel it all around you/
Take it back/
Take it back, take it back, take it back with you.
Naturally, the first question that comes to mind is "Feel all of what?" or "Take what back?" "It" is a rather vague thing to either feel or take. As I began to explore further, the chorus seemed more of a battle cry in my mind, pulling back to how the song starts, with a chant and a yell. Despite this feeling of brokenness, there is a certain determination.
Here's where things got really interesting for me--I had to get into some double-think, as in the 1984 definition of double-think where you hold two contradictory ideas at the same time as true. How I wanted to read the song definitely depended on my mood.
For example, "After all these hammers thrown...I can barely hobble home."
On a good day: I have had everything thrown at me and despite what has happened, it has not managed to defeat me. I will not be defeated.
On a not-so-good day: Everything has been hitting me and I am barely surviving. I don't know how much longer I'm going to make it.
"Feel it all"
GD: Take in everything where you are at now. Absorb what you are feeling in this exact moment in time and embrace it.
NSGD: Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling now, even if it's not a good feeling. Absorb what you are feeling in this exact moment in time and allow yourself to embrace it, even when it's not pretty.
"Take it back with you"
GD: You have emerged triumphant--carry this accomplishment forward and share it with others.
NSGD: What you have experienced will always be a part of you. Carry it with you as a reminder. Leave the rest, but take back what you need to keep.
Rushing waves, hear my call/
Rushing waves, stand so tall
GD: I have power and can call upon all kinds of resources to my command.
NSGD: The storm is rolling through; hear my pleas for help and spare me.
These two main interpretations coexist now each time I hear the song, flittering back and forth between empowerment and dogged perseverance. There are a few parts of the song that line up more cohesively, though.
There is water when I'm thirsty/
There is sun when I am cold/
There is food when I am hungry/
There is life, there is life
GD: I will have what I need to survive. Life is truly a miraculous thing.
NSGD: I will have what I need to survive. The world will continue on, one way or another, even when it feels like my world has stopped.
This part reminds me of Matthew 6:28, "Consider the lilies of the field; they toil not, nor do they spin," moving on to sparrows from there, the key idea being not to worry so much about what's going to happen tomorrow. Sometimes, that's easy for me, fortunate as I am to be sitting in our apartment on my own laptop and more concerned with when we're going to get groceries rather than if there will be enough to buy them. But this still goes back into the idea that being constantly worried about things you cannot control is going to distract you from something worth putting your time and energy into.
Now how about the music video: we have a scene with two people being controlled electronically by others sitting in front of the machine (think Gamer). We don't know if they were drafted, kidnapped, signed a contract or what. The crowd watches half-halfheartedly as they are forced to spar. The controllers are absorbed in the game, living vicariously through their avatars. Then something goes wrong. The two being controlled now seem to realize where and who they are again, detaching the cords from their helmet. There is worry on their controllers' faces, but instead of seeking revenge, they begin to dance, synchronized together in fighting stances. All of this time they had been fighting one another, but their first act free of the machine is to be in sync with the other. This gets the crowd's attention and they are more invested now than they were through sparring acrobatics. The combatants are feeling and thinking for themselves now.
The controllers, too, are also free and begin to destroy the machine that was keeping them apart--keeping the controlled apart from each other and the controllers apart from the rest. The controllers are can now feel and think as themselves rather than through someone else. I like to think that act of destroying the machine was symbolic, that they want all persons to be able to be who they are and not controlled by some outside force. What they are taking back is some of themselves. When we dehumanize others, we are dehumanized. When we degrade others to make them less than human--racism, sexism, bullying, homophobia, and unfortunately so many more--we also lose some of our own humanity. Or as Booker T. Washington put it "One man cannot hold another man down in a ditch without remaining down in the ditch with him." I think these controllers felt so much more defeating the machine than they ever did using it.
Yes, you could read into the video that they were upset that their machine broke, but I prefer the empowering interpretation, that they realized controlling people to fight for money wasn't necessarily a good thing, that all persons should have control of their own destiny (or as much of it as they can). I also like to think that the machine blew up because the controlled fervently refused to kill and it shorted out the machine, that there was a line he would not cross, despite what was otherwise forced upon him. I have other visions I would wish upon the world, too.
But for now, I'm going to think about everything and nothing and enjoy some Stepdad. The whimsical tone yet thought-provoking lyrics are kind of their thing.
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