- I believe it is absolutely possible to die from second-hand embarrassment. What I mean by this is in those moments where you want to curl up and die along with the character who is going through the most embarrassing moment of his/her life, even if the character doesn't even have the good grace to be ashamed.
- If you assume that horror movies take place in an alternate universe where horror movies don't exist, your characters seem a lot more believable and less "dumb."
- Will we look at post-apocalyptic movies in the same way that we look at movies set in the future? With Back to the Future hitting its thirty years into the future this November, there are a lot of points where we can reflect what was right and what was waaaay off-base. If, hypothetically, footage survived after some kind of apocalypse, would we look at some of those movies in the same way?
- Sometimes, an actor/actress is more distracting when you know them from other things, particularly when envisioning what their other character might have done in this situation. This game is particularly fun when said actor/actress has had some specific defining roles and/or odd ones or when the current movie is particularly dull.
- How much plot have I missed collectively from trying to figure out where else I know a particular actor/actress from?
- How bad does a movie have to be to be enjoyably bad?
- When watching a movie or reading a book, there is a suspension of disbelief. Where do we draw the line for when things get too unbelievable to suspend it any longer? For me, I find that this varies for me based on what kind of world I'm expected to buy into.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Interlude #4, Movie Thoughts
Some thoughts while watching movies:
Thursday, September 24, 2015
How to Successfully Chew-Out your Insurance Company
Recently, there's been a lot of talk in the news about Daraprim, the medication that was initially set to see about a 5,000% price increase for reasons that sounded dubious at best. In case you missed it, a drug company bought the medication and raised the price from around $13 a pill to $750. The company in question has since backed down, and I have not heard what the new price will officially be as of yet.
Either way, this situation makes me instantaneously furious. The thing about our health and medications is that the person who is sick isn't really in a position to negotiate. If you tell me the medication cost $30, I will pay it. If you tell me the medication costs $3,000, I will find a way to pay it. My health and my life are effectively held for ransom. For a period of time, I was on a medication that cost $28,000 a dose, and, no, I did not put any extra zeroes in there. BUT, when I was studying for a semester in Scotland (where my medication schedule fell twice while I was over there), the medication itself was about a tenth of the price, AFTER the exchange rate and foreign transaction fees. This all meaning that it would be cheaper to take a weird vacation every eight weeks to receive my infusion than to pay for it out of pocket in the states. It is absolutely absurd that we don't have some kind of a cap on these pharmaceuticals.
Thank God for insurance, right?
Truly, with how many times I've been hospitalized, my fluxing and ongoing medications, and the sheer bad luck of it all, we would be a few levels of irreparably bankrupt were it not for insurance. If it hadn't been for the portion of the Affordable Care Act that allowed me to stay on my parents' insurance, I would have been in a whole lot of trouble, when I was too sick to find insurance through work and Andy and I were sorting things out as far as what we needed. That component, allowing us to stay on until I was 26 saved us a great deal of heartache and a ridiculous amount of money.
I was very content to let my father do the arguing with insurance for as long as possible, but it was inevitable that I would have to figure this out eventually. My first major surgery, the only real surgery we expected with my Crohn's in 2012, was under my parent's insurance. The emergency surgery a day later, the days between ICU and the hospital proper, the nurse visits at home, the ostomy supplies, etc. were originally under their insurance. And THEN, before the last surgery, we changed to Andy's insurance. This meant that I have made a lot of calls to insurance, providers, prescription coverage specific personnel, other billing departments, and a few other components in between to get to the bottom of some of the charges that were piled up on my dining room table. For a year, I was sorting out what needed to be argued to one insurance or another, let alone which facility/doctor/department.
For the past few months, Andy and I have had a couple thousand dollars tied up in medical expenses that we were disputing, so that in the meanwhile we were holding that money paid on credit cards until everything was sorted out--I am not in a position to refuse payment for certain services, so our fight isn't negotiating for a lower price but instead reimbursements.
As such, I hope to pass some of this experience on. Getting to the bottom of your medical bills and charges is a life skill and usually happens to be necessary at some rather inconvenient times in your life. I make no promises to your results, but here are a few suggestions.
***As an aside, I am quite satisfied with my particular medical insurance. No system is perfect, but they seem to get a lot right most of the time.
---
1. Ask questions.
I tell you this truth--there are some charges that will stay on only if they are not contested. Sometimes, it is easiest to just pay it and make sure it goes away, but some charges will clear up as soon as you start asking questions. It is always worth asking where these charges come from, why they aren't covered, etc.
I was receiving bills for a long time from a specific company that checks all of my hospitals' tests, meaning that the test is done at the hospital, but it gets sent to this secondary company for quality assurance. I understand this concept, but my insurance thought they were paying for the same test twice. I hit a dead end arguing with my insurance, but I called the hospital to ask if there was any way I could be exempt from this practice, as much as I think it's necessary. Eventually, I was passed to the right person: she took down what my insurance company was and I only see the odd bill for this service anymore.
2. Be persistent.
There was a period of time where my insurance company recognized my voice. At that time, I was trying to get pre-approval situated with an upcoming surgery. I also needed to find out how to get my ostomy supplies reimbursed because that was about $200 a month and my supplier did not bill insurance first. I was asking a lot of questions. And when they told me they'd get back to me, I gave them about a week. If they didn't have anything then, I told them I would be calling back in a couple days. Then, every day if necessary. Then, twice a day if very necessary. I only got to the twice a day stage once, that I can recall. Once a day happened at least three times.
3. Spin it.
Your tone and how you approach what is going on can make a huge difference. I might be fuming, but I am polite. I approach my concerns with specific questions, building up to more difficult ones. I allow them to finish their explanation and listen to the explanation. "Can you help me understand this?" seems to go over much better than "What the hell is going on?"
In a recent concern, I was very certain that we had met our deductible, meaning that I should see the prices of my medications covered per the terms of the plan. Yet, I had an $800 bill from Walgreen's. Walgreen's ran it into their system again at my request and the same result popped up--problem wasn't on their end.
My first question to insurance was if I had met my deductible. And then if they knew roughly when it was met. I then explained that I was still being charged and asked if there was something I could do to help them to move this along; did they need a copy of the receipt or a list of my prescriptions through the year or any additional information? Do they need to hear something specifically from my doctor or the hospital that I could request on their behalf?
In short, my biggest spin is "What can I do to help you fix this [mess that you made]?" I don't say the last part, but I think it REALLY LOUDLY sometimes. Instead, I approach the conversation with a "How can I help you to help me?" And this also means following up with my doctor to make sure that they call my insurance or getting paperwork started, but I get things moving wherever I can and thereby also ensure that it's never information from me that they are waiting on--sometimes you don't know until you ask. This leads me to my next thought.
4. Don't hang up until you understand or you know who you're calling next.
I have had days where I spent two hours straight on the phone trying to sort out one issue. A chunk of that was on hold and getting through the automated menus, mind you, but it's still exhausting. When I get that conversation going--again, staying polite but firm, as unaccusatory as possible--I know that the person on the other end is trying to translate components into terms that they will understand. We have to do that at work all the time, translate the client's question into one that we know how to answer; the person on the other end answering calls has the same struggle.
And yet sometimes we still hit a wall. Somewhere along the way, we are misunderstanding each other. Make it clear that you are listening, but you are still confused. Better yet, ask for specific pieces of clarification--a generic "I don't get it" doesn't leave much of a starting point. Or what I have done more than once is ask if I can paraphrase what I'm understanding so far. "Let me see if I'm understanding this correctly" or "I'm going to try re-phrasing that to make sure I understand" makes any major discrepancies immediately clear to the other side as you repeat that understanding. I tend to check at least one more time at the end, with a "I just want to check one more time that I've got this right."
If you do not understand, do not let them go. Genuinely try to understand the reasoning for why a charge is still applied or something isn't covered. Once you have a reason, then you can fight it along those logical patterns. Perhaps your doctor/case manager can appeal your situation and an exception can be made. Perhaps that representative can give you some further ideas on where to else to start. Either way, if you don't know why the decision was made, there is nothing that can be done. It's like trying to make amends with someone when you don't know why they're angry.
So, while you're still keeping that cool head, make sure that you understand or know who you're calling next. Perhaps the next step to solve the issue is to start requesting records from you doctor--I have made more than one call to ensure that letters have been sent out, if only to immediately call back insurance and ask if there is another step I can start on for them.
5. Know where the problem is.
You might not intrinsically know where the problem is, but it's a waste of time and effort to scream at the Walgreen's clerk when it's your insurance company at fault or more specifically the division that handles prescriptions.
That being said, think through the problem.
When my prescriptions were showing up incorrectly at Walgreen's, I requested that they re-run them. Run back through insurance, it spat out the same answer. Somewhere along the chain, Walgreen's was repeating the answer it was receiving. Ergo, not their fault. I asked them to print out a list of all my prescriptions to date for this year in case I needed evidence; they totally do that for you, by the way, but are happier with you if you can choose a non-peak time.
I called my insurance immediately. They told me I had met my deductible. So it's not wrong on that component.
There is a specific other group that manages the prescriptions and another group off of that to manage specialty medications, such as when I was using an auto-injector pen. Having eliminated some of the other options, I knew better where to direct my concerns. Luckily, my insurance made some of those calls for me.
In some cases, though, it could be an error from the hospital or another billing agent. That's why that first tip, asking questions, is helpful--direct your energy to where the problem is at, instead of busting everyone's balls. I recognize very well that no one is very happy when it comes to working through these kinds of bills, but I would urge you to stay as calm as possible. Sometimes, too, a company can put a hold on the bill until you have things sorted out with one party or another, but you won't know until you call and ask.
6. Come prepared.
Have your prescriptions and costs-to-date handy. Highlight the day of service on your claim. Note where the account number is. Keep your insurance card close by. These small steps can make the call go much more smoothly for you and whomever you are speaking with. Keep things as simple as possible, too. They do not need to know the complete backstory of why you were in the hospital or what was done. Stick to the facts--dates and charges.
I would be remiss if I did not add this: know how your plan works.
I don't mean that you need to know it inside and out, but understand your generalities. Is it a high deductible plan or flex spending? What is the limit or the time limit? What percent of prescriptions are covered, before/after deductible? What is the difference for out-of-network providers vs in-network? How can you find whether someone is in-network?
These are some of the basic questions that it would be good to have a handle on.
One more question worth investigating is whether you need or qualify for a Health Savings Account (HSA). Money deposited directly in an HSA is all pre-tax and also earns interest, saving you money twice (thanks, former banker Andy). We needed one for our high deductible plan and it is definitely how we have been able to insulate ourselves and **gasp** start to actually pay down debt instead of accruing it.
---
It's a daunting process, but I can tell you it is quite validating to hold a reimbursement check in your hand and FINALLY pay off that credit card where all medical fees had taken residence. Again, I cannot promise success, but this is one of those adult things that just has to be done. Suck it up, and do it. Take ownership of your bills and your care plan before things get too deep. Have someone that can advocate for you when necessary. Keep your chin up.
And if you don't have insurance, PLEASE consider getting some. Life happens and one bad day can mean a lifetime of unexpected debt. Comparing to a full hospital bill, it's better to be safe.
Either way, this situation makes me instantaneously furious. The thing about our health and medications is that the person who is sick isn't really in a position to negotiate. If you tell me the medication cost $30, I will pay it. If you tell me the medication costs $3,000, I will find a way to pay it. My health and my life are effectively held for ransom. For a period of time, I was on a medication that cost $28,000 a dose, and, no, I did not put any extra zeroes in there. BUT, when I was studying for a semester in Scotland (where my medication schedule fell twice while I was over there), the medication itself was about a tenth of the price, AFTER the exchange rate and foreign transaction fees. This all meaning that it would be cheaper to take a weird vacation every eight weeks to receive my infusion than to pay for it out of pocket in the states. It is absolutely absurd that we don't have some kind of a cap on these pharmaceuticals.
Thank God for insurance, right?
Truly, with how many times I've been hospitalized, my fluxing and ongoing medications, and the sheer bad luck of it all, we would be a few levels of irreparably bankrupt were it not for insurance. If it hadn't been for the portion of the Affordable Care Act that allowed me to stay on my parents' insurance, I would have been in a whole lot of trouble, when I was too sick to find insurance through work and Andy and I were sorting things out as far as what we needed. That component, allowing us to stay on until I was 26 saved us a great deal of heartache and a ridiculous amount of money.
I was very content to let my father do the arguing with insurance for as long as possible, but it was inevitable that I would have to figure this out eventually. My first major surgery, the only real surgery we expected with my Crohn's in 2012, was under my parent's insurance. The emergency surgery a day later, the days between ICU and the hospital proper, the nurse visits at home, the ostomy supplies, etc. were originally under their insurance. And THEN, before the last surgery, we changed to Andy's insurance. This meant that I have made a lot of calls to insurance, providers, prescription coverage specific personnel, other billing departments, and a few other components in between to get to the bottom of some of the charges that were piled up on my dining room table. For a year, I was sorting out what needed to be argued to one insurance or another, let alone which facility/doctor/department.
For the past few months, Andy and I have had a couple thousand dollars tied up in medical expenses that we were disputing, so that in the meanwhile we were holding that money paid on credit cards until everything was sorted out--I am not in a position to refuse payment for certain services, so our fight isn't negotiating for a lower price but instead reimbursements.
As such, I hope to pass some of this experience on. Getting to the bottom of your medical bills and charges is a life skill and usually happens to be necessary at some rather inconvenient times in your life. I make no promises to your results, but here are a few suggestions.
***As an aside, I am quite satisfied with my particular medical insurance. No system is perfect, but they seem to get a lot right most of the time.
---
1. Ask questions.
I tell you this truth--there are some charges that will stay on only if they are not contested. Sometimes, it is easiest to just pay it and make sure it goes away, but some charges will clear up as soon as you start asking questions. It is always worth asking where these charges come from, why they aren't covered, etc.
I was receiving bills for a long time from a specific company that checks all of my hospitals' tests, meaning that the test is done at the hospital, but it gets sent to this secondary company for quality assurance. I understand this concept, but my insurance thought they were paying for the same test twice. I hit a dead end arguing with my insurance, but I called the hospital to ask if there was any way I could be exempt from this practice, as much as I think it's necessary. Eventually, I was passed to the right person: she took down what my insurance company was and I only see the odd bill for this service anymore.
2. Be persistent.
There was a period of time where my insurance company recognized my voice. At that time, I was trying to get pre-approval situated with an upcoming surgery. I also needed to find out how to get my ostomy supplies reimbursed because that was about $200 a month and my supplier did not bill insurance first. I was asking a lot of questions. And when they told me they'd get back to me, I gave them about a week. If they didn't have anything then, I told them I would be calling back in a couple days. Then, every day if necessary. Then, twice a day if very necessary. I only got to the twice a day stage once, that I can recall. Once a day happened at least three times.
3. Spin it.
Your tone and how you approach what is going on can make a huge difference. I might be fuming, but I am polite. I approach my concerns with specific questions, building up to more difficult ones. I allow them to finish their explanation and listen to the explanation. "Can you help me understand this?" seems to go over much better than "What the hell is going on?"
In a recent concern, I was very certain that we had met our deductible, meaning that I should see the prices of my medications covered per the terms of the plan. Yet, I had an $800 bill from Walgreen's. Walgreen's ran it into their system again at my request and the same result popped up--problem wasn't on their end.
My first question to insurance was if I had met my deductible. And then if they knew roughly when it was met. I then explained that I was still being charged and asked if there was something I could do to help them to move this along; did they need a copy of the receipt or a list of my prescriptions through the year or any additional information? Do they need to hear something specifically from my doctor or the hospital that I could request on their behalf?
In short, my biggest spin is "What can I do to help you fix this [mess that you made]?" I don't say the last part, but I think it REALLY LOUDLY sometimes. Instead, I approach the conversation with a "How can I help you to help me?" And this also means following up with my doctor to make sure that they call my insurance or getting paperwork started, but I get things moving wherever I can and thereby also ensure that it's never information from me that they are waiting on--sometimes you don't know until you ask. This leads me to my next thought.
4. Don't hang up until you understand or you know who you're calling next.
I have had days where I spent two hours straight on the phone trying to sort out one issue. A chunk of that was on hold and getting through the automated menus, mind you, but it's still exhausting. When I get that conversation going--again, staying polite but firm, as unaccusatory as possible--I know that the person on the other end is trying to translate components into terms that they will understand. We have to do that at work all the time, translate the client's question into one that we know how to answer; the person on the other end answering calls has the same struggle.
And yet sometimes we still hit a wall. Somewhere along the way, we are misunderstanding each other. Make it clear that you are listening, but you are still confused. Better yet, ask for specific pieces of clarification--a generic "I don't get it" doesn't leave much of a starting point. Or what I have done more than once is ask if I can paraphrase what I'm understanding so far. "Let me see if I'm understanding this correctly" or "I'm going to try re-phrasing that to make sure I understand" makes any major discrepancies immediately clear to the other side as you repeat that understanding. I tend to check at least one more time at the end, with a "I just want to check one more time that I've got this right."
If you do not understand, do not let them go. Genuinely try to understand the reasoning for why a charge is still applied or something isn't covered. Once you have a reason, then you can fight it along those logical patterns. Perhaps your doctor/case manager can appeal your situation and an exception can be made. Perhaps that representative can give you some further ideas on where to else to start. Either way, if you don't know why the decision was made, there is nothing that can be done. It's like trying to make amends with someone when you don't know why they're angry.
So, while you're still keeping that cool head, make sure that you understand or know who you're calling next. Perhaps the next step to solve the issue is to start requesting records from you doctor--I have made more than one call to ensure that letters have been sent out, if only to immediately call back insurance and ask if there is another step I can start on for them.
5. Know where the problem is.
You might not intrinsically know where the problem is, but it's a waste of time and effort to scream at the Walgreen's clerk when it's your insurance company at fault or more specifically the division that handles prescriptions.
That being said, think through the problem.
When my prescriptions were showing up incorrectly at Walgreen's, I requested that they re-run them. Run back through insurance, it spat out the same answer. Somewhere along the chain, Walgreen's was repeating the answer it was receiving. Ergo, not their fault. I asked them to print out a list of all my prescriptions to date for this year in case I needed evidence; they totally do that for you, by the way, but are happier with you if you can choose a non-peak time.
I called my insurance immediately. They told me I had met my deductible. So it's not wrong on that component.
There is a specific other group that manages the prescriptions and another group off of that to manage specialty medications, such as when I was using an auto-injector pen. Having eliminated some of the other options, I knew better where to direct my concerns. Luckily, my insurance made some of those calls for me.
In some cases, though, it could be an error from the hospital or another billing agent. That's why that first tip, asking questions, is helpful--direct your energy to where the problem is at, instead of busting everyone's balls. I recognize very well that no one is very happy when it comes to working through these kinds of bills, but I would urge you to stay as calm as possible. Sometimes, too, a company can put a hold on the bill until you have things sorted out with one party or another, but you won't know until you call and ask.
6. Come prepared.
Have your prescriptions and costs-to-date handy. Highlight the day of service on your claim. Note where the account number is. Keep your insurance card close by. These small steps can make the call go much more smoothly for you and whomever you are speaking with. Keep things as simple as possible, too. They do not need to know the complete backstory of why you were in the hospital or what was done. Stick to the facts--dates and charges.
I would be remiss if I did not add this: know how your plan works.
I don't mean that you need to know it inside and out, but understand your generalities. Is it a high deductible plan or flex spending? What is the limit or the time limit? What percent of prescriptions are covered, before/after deductible? What is the difference for out-of-network providers vs in-network? How can you find whether someone is in-network?
These are some of the basic questions that it would be good to have a handle on.
One more question worth investigating is whether you need or qualify for a Health Savings Account (HSA). Money deposited directly in an HSA is all pre-tax and also earns interest, saving you money twice (thanks, former banker Andy). We needed one for our high deductible plan and it is definitely how we have been able to insulate ourselves and **gasp** start to actually pay down debt instead of accruing it.
---
It's a daunting process, but I can tell you it is quite validating to hold a reimbursement check in your hand and FINALLY pay off that credit card where all medical fees had taken residence. Again, I cannot promise success, but this is one of those adult things that just has to be done. Suck it up, and do it. Take ownership of your bills and your care plan before things get too deep. Have someone that can advocate for you when necessary. Keep your chin up.
And if you don't have insurance, PLEASE consider getting some. Life happens and one bad day can mean a lifetime of unexpected debt. Comparing to a full hospital bill, it's better to be safe.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Interlude #3, Things I've Mis-typed at Work
I've decided that I will try to write a larger blog post and then follow it up with a short, flippant kind of post as a general pattern. We'll see how it goes.
But anyway:
Apart from the general flubs and, heh, interesting spellings that I manage to make while typing away, I find that there are always a few that make me laugh every now and again. I cannot tell you how many times I have misspelled my own name when typing a work email (I've corrected all of them that I know of) and originally typed "Skwyard" instead of the correct "Skyward," in addition to all of the other moments where my fingers seemed to get overeager and ahead of themselves.
Here, though, are some humorous ones.
- "It's oaky not to have a solid answer." This one I appreciated for its accidental pun.
- Instead of typing "UNC path" I typed in "UNCE." As in "unce unce unce unce" and other makeshift techno music.
- Typed "yore" instead of "your."
- Whenever I type "me" instead of "my" I have to say the rest of the sentence like a pirate.
- One day, I wrote "fiends" instead of "fields" and had a good maniacal laugh.
Thankfully, I've yet to have anything come back and bite me as of yet. I've had to restate some things that auto-correct oh so helpfully changed. Yes, yes, first world problems, I know.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
On Making Art
I have been working on something for a while now. In fact, it was supposed to be an anniversary gift for my husband. I had budgeted some time to sit down and work on it when Andy was going to be conveniently out of town. After I had gotten the rest of my materials, he told me that he would be back a day early. So I thought, "Okay, I can still be done in time." Then, I had a church obligation and thought, "Well, I can crank through if I really knuckle down." And THEN, my dear, sweet husband gleefully informs me that he'll actually be home in the middle of the week between sites. Mentally, I threw my hands up. Thus, with no feasible deadline, I've only just finished it now.
It's a bit generous in some senses, but at least we still look like us for the most part. For reference, here's the original picture.
I'm pleased with the result, overall. Feeling rather pleased, actually. Enough to say that, yes, I have a little talent. When people have stopped by the house recently, I had heard more than once that people were surprised--they didn't know I could draw. I took a single drawing class in college and otherwise enjoy a good doodle, but I am by no means a professional. I will always have much better luck copying than creating out of my mind. That class I took allowed me to experience different materials and forced me to actually spend time creating; thus it was a very frustrating but very rewarding term.
I've heard it said more than once that the difference between an author and a writer is that an author has made something and is done, whereas a writer may or may not have finished something but is still creating. Similarly, I have heard it said that talent is not nearly as important as perseverance and practice.
Yes, I have some small talent in drawing, but I don't pursue it, except on the odd occasion. I like to think that I have some talent writing and I choose to exercise that. I may or may not have more talent than others. I may have less. Someone that has talent and is not putting something new into the world is not an artist, as opposed to someone who may not have much talent but is still putting new things into the world. In other words, creating overall is more important than the quality. That being said, creating quantity for the sake of quantity isn't really art. Instead, make quality to the best of your ability. The best of YOUR ability is not the best of someone else's. It is very easy trap to fall into, judging your work by everyone else's, but that is not how art is measured.
I have heard many people tell me that they are "just not creative." Mostly, I find that this is a result of limited definitions of "creative." Perhaps when you try to draw a dog it looks like a platypus and your stick figures are sad at best (**cough** Andy **cough**), but putting together a meal still takes creativity. Maybe you cannot sculpt something other than a snake/worm/un-inflated balloon, but you enjoy singing for the sake of singing, still putting art into the world. Or maybe you can't carry a tune to save your immortal soul, but you have a unique way of wording things. Perhaps your writing is incoherent and hackneyed, but you enjoy taking pictures of everything or you make up interpretive dances to ridiculous pop lyrics. Maybe you can't paint anything other than a wall but you can sew/crochet/knit something new by following a pattern. How you decorate your house, how you solve problems, how you cobble together a make-shift tool out of what you have, all of these and more involve creativity. In science and mathematics, there is a different kind of logic, but it, too, requires creativity in its application--think about designing an experiment to test your hypothesis or what equations you would need to solve the particular problem at hand.
The point is people express creativity differently. We use elements of it in our day-to-day lives, but many people have managed to tell themselves that because they are not a professional artist, they are not creative. The pursuit of adding something new into the world, of making art, is more important than being good at it. Practice your art. Find freedom in making something new. And the best you can do is certainly good enough.
Here it is, in charcoal.
 |
| Airbrushed in a sense, but at least it's sort of us. |
 |
| Us, in our goofy glory, hand included in the frame in everything. |
I've heard it said more than once that the difference between an author and a writer is that an author has made something and is done, whereas a writer may or may not have finished something but is still creating. Similarly, I have heard it said that talent is not nearly as important as perseverance and practice.
Yes, I have some small talent in drawing, but I don't pursue it, except on the odd occasion. I like to think that I have some talent writing and I choose to exercise that. I may or may not have more talent than others. I may have less. Someone that has talent and is not putting something new into the world is not an artist, as opposed to someone who may not have much talent but is still putting new things into the world. In other words, creating overall is more important than the quality. That being said, creating quantity for the sake of quantity isn't really art. Instead, make quality to the best of your ability. The best of YOUR ability is not the best of someone else's. It is very easy trap to fall into, judging your work by everyone else's, but that is not how art is measured.
I have heard many people tell me that they are "just not creative." Mostly, I find that this is a result of limited definitions of "creative." Perhaps when you try to draw a dog it looks like a platypus and your stick figures are sad at best (**cough** Andy **cough**), but putting together a meal still takes creativity. Maybe you cannot sculpt something other than a snake/worm/un-inflated balloon, but you enjoy singing for the sake of singing, still putting art into the world. Or maybe you can't carry a tune to save your immortal soul, but you have a unique way of wording things. Perhaps your writing is incoherent and hackneyed, but you enjoy taking pictures of everything or you make up interpretive dances to ridiculous pop lyrics. Maybe you can't paint anything other than a wall but you can sew/crochet/knit something new by following a pattern. How you decorate your house, how you solve problems, how you cobble together a make-shift tool out of what you have, all of these and more involve creativity. In science and mathematics, there is a different kind of logic, but it, too, requires creativity in its application--think about designing an experiment to test your hypothesis or what equations you would need to solve the particular problem at hand.
The point is people express creativity differently. We use elements of it in our day-to-day lives, but many people have managed to tell themselves that because they are not a professional artist, they are not creative. The pursuit of adding something new into the world, of making art, is more important than being good at it. Practice your art. Find freedom in making something new. And the best you can do is certainly good enough.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Interlude #2, Random Songs
So Andy and I have this habit of making up songs to each other, about what we want to eat for lunch, about how tired we are, about virtually anything that comes to our heads, including some not to be repeated in polite company. Naturally, we forget the exact tune and/or phrasing three minutes later.
A couple of honorable mentions:
--"Silly Pandas" set to the tune the "Game of Thrones Theme." I was particularly tired this night and it went something along the lines of "Silly Pandas/ Silly Pandas/ See them rolling/ See them tumble" to the main sweeps of the song.
--"Awesome" set to an unmemorable tune. I had asked Andy for a pep-talk before I had to hit myself with an auto-injector pen for a weekly medication (which hurt each time). He started on a delightfully ridiculous song. The only line I remember was "...and if you had a pet it would be awesome." (This was pre-Sprinkles.) The rest of the song was fun, but I lost it at that line.
--"Oh, Sprinkles" set to the tune of "Oh, Santa" from VeggieTales. This one particularly remarking on how he's a very good snake but not a smart creature by our definition. Reoccurring line: "Oh, Sprinkles/ you are such a silly snake/ oh yes such a silly snake."
Even when trying to think of some examples to list, consensus was just to wait around for an hour or so and we'd certainly have fodder again. We'll help the other out with different rhymes where necessary, too. It's been a fun exercise and we on the whole getting better, creating some more complex rhymes, this all being contingent on our current state of mind.
I hadn't realized that this was something we had both grown up with until we both brought it in to the relationship. I can remember my mother waking me up with a few specific songs, particularly on Sunday mornings, which always made the getting up much better. It's just become a part of our lives--neither of us thought it strange when the other started doing it.
It was just a moment to think about, how our weirdness fits together. What traits do you bring to your relationships, thinking they're normal? What traditions do we keep and which do we let go? What traits do you grow together? How do we choose?
This has been an excerpt from the Peterson household.
A couple of honorable mentions:
--"Silly Pandas" set to the tune the "Game of Thrones Theme." I was particularly tired this night and it went something along the lines of "Silly Pandas/ Silly Pandas/ See them rolling/ See them tumble" to the main sweeps of the song.
--"Awesome" set to an unmemorable tune. I had asked Andy for a pep-talk before I had to hit myself with an auto-injector pen for a weekly medication (which hurt each time). He started on a delightfully ridiculous song. The only line I remember was "...and if you had a pet it would be awesome." (This was pre-Sprinkles.) The rest of the song was fun, but I lost it at that line.
--"Oh, Sprinkles" set to the tune of "Oh, Santa" from VeggieTales. This one particularly remarking on how he's a very good snake but not a smart creature by our definition. Reoccurring line: "Oh, Sprinkles/ you are such a silly snake/ oh yes such a silly snake."
Even when trying to think of some examples to list, consensus was just to wait around for an hour or so and we'd certainly have fodder again. We'll help the other out with different rhymes where necessary, too. It's been a fun exercise and we on the whole getting better, creating some more complex rhymes, this all being contingent on our current state of mind.
I hadn't realized that this was something we had both grown up with until we both brought it in to the relationship. I can remember my mother waking me up with a few specific songs, particularly on Sunday mornings, which always made the getting up much better. It's just become a part of our lives--neither of us thought it strange when the other started doing it.
It was just a moment to think about, how our weirdness fits together. What traits do you bring to your relationships, thinking they're normal? What traditions do we keep and which do we let go? What traits do you grow together? How do we choose?
This has been an excerpt from the Peterson household.
Taking Things out of Context
My first day of student teaching was nearly over when a student approached me at the end of the final class period. He had an odd, self-righteous smile and proclaimed to me and my cooperating teacher that he had a problem with the textbook. We asked what the problem was and he stated that he did not believe in chapter eleven. Sure enough, it was the chapter on evolution.
In my head I'm thinking "Really, kid? I won't even be here when that information is covered in second semester, and I almost made it through my first day without incident." I had been expecting to have this conversation one day, but I hadn't expected it so soon.
My cooperating teacher proceeded to begin explaining that we were not looking to change his mind, but that he would be responsible for understanding the material for our test and it was likely to come up on other standardized tests that he would need to get into a good school. I had a longer conversation with him, too, about how hearing new ideas doesn't threaten you, that keeping on open mind can help you reaffirm your position or change your opinions if necessary. Either way, you're growing and developing a mature understanding rather than regurgitating something.
When I was in high school, I had my parents' opinions. When I went to college, I changed my mind on some things and grew stronger in my understanding and agreement on others. I have never had much of an issue with my religious beliefs and evolution. In fact, the more I studied biology, the more I believed in God, marveling at the wondrous detail put into our world. I have developed my opinion and changed it when new evidence persuaded me that there was a need. I don't begrudge this particular student for being the same way, but I sure hope that he can grow in his understanding, one way or another. Continuing to regurgitate opinions without thinking through them is not a mature opinion. God asks us to have faith, which is not the same as believing in things blindly and without thinking through them.
I've been thinking about this experience for a few reasons recently, one of which is the controversy with the Kentucky County Clerk. In a nutshell, I agree with the tweet that's been posted everywhere, that "No one is being jailed for practicing her religion. Someone's being jailed for using the government to force others to practice her religion."
What's frustrating to me is seeing posts quickly turn to bullying or a screaming match rather than meaningful conversation. I don't like wasting my time hashing through ideas with someone if they're only interested in brow-beating me into their opinion. Politics have a certain flavor of angry, but there's something about religious arguments, when we start talking about how MY church should operate or how MY church should look that turn nasty really quickly.
When it comes to LGBT rights, I hear a certain verse in Leviticus passed around. But no one is spending as much time obsessing over Leviticus 11:10-12 that forbids shellfish or Leviticus 19:19 that forbids wearing polyester-cotton blends. And it wouldn't surprise me if you've heard that before either. The end problem is the same: picking and choosing what you want to follow out of the Bible is shallow theology.
It's not supposed to be easy. You're going to find parts of the Bible that challenge you. People have used the Bible as evidence for why hippies shouldn't have long hair and to reinforce racism and slavery. You can pull so many pieces out of context to back up many, many things. Instead, take the Bible as a whole, look at the context of the people of the time (what it meant to them), and then apply it. Anyone can twist the words to fit their cause. I can take another example out of the Bible: in Matthew 4:6 the devil quotes scripture--let me say that again: the devil can quote scripture. When I hear a single Bible verse to back something up, I stop to question whether this verse fits in with the biblical context. Jesus said a lot about loving people--he didn't do a lot of discriminating, instead calling all of the "undesirables" to him. What I've told my Sunday School class as a take away message is that if you're using the Bible to hurt people, you're using it wrong.
I don't know how people have framed their specific understandings. I cannot assume that someone has or has not done their research and come to the their conclusions through careful consideration. I have talked to people who would rather shout and I have had meaningful discussions. Any time I run into that knee-jerk response, though, of raising the voice and turning to accusations, it never inspires confidence. It seems that the less evidence and/or reasoning a person has, the sooner they fall into attacking.
We talked about some of these aspects with my junior/senior high Sunday School, that taking the Bible out of context does not relay the actual intent, that using the Bible to hurt people is wrong, and that unfortunately sometimes those with the most extreme views scream loudest. I imagine, with no specific evidence, that we feel about WBC the same way that most Muslims feel about extremists. We discussed situations where someone learns that you identify as Christian and their whole manner toward you changes or at least there are some comments about whether or not you act like how they think a Christian should.
Christians have a terrible reputation overall as being judgmental and being exclusionary. I've seen both Christians and non-Christians that embody these traits. Essentially, all humans like patterns and we try to predict behaviors on what we've seen before. It's when we let these assumptions affect how we treat people, where we fail to give people the benefit of the doubt and only have these suppositions as evidence, that we run into trouble. Judging people is not a uniquely Christian problem--it's a human thing--and it's a really hard habit to get out of. Perhaps what makes Christian judgement different is that pulling out a Bible and brokering no further argument is a rather frustrating side to be against.
When dealing with issues of morality and justice, it's easy to jump onto a Facebook bandwagon. We tend to read and follow those with similar opinions because we like the validation. When secure that others are in agreement, sometimes what we say becomes vicious and judgmental of the opposition--they must be stupid/misguided/uneducated/etc. But looking into the other side of the argument is what will actually give your understanding and your position strength. And how will we deal with being judgmental? By remembering that the other party has agency and won't necessarily fit into the boxes we put them in. Again, looking at their side of the story will create a deeper understanding, either to reaffirm what you know about them or change your mind. People have reasons for being the way they are--not excuses, per say, but reasons.
So the takeaway message, I suppose, is not to take anything completely out of context. The Bible, people, situations, etc. all have contextual background that can change the conclusions that you draw. Keep a healthy dose of skepticism and an open mind before assuming the worst or accepting something blindly. And once you've figured out how to do that all the time, please teach me how.
In my head I'm thinking "Really, kid? I won't even be here when that information is covered in second semester, and I almost made it through my first day without incident." I had been expecting to have this conversation one day, but I hadn't expected it so soon.
My cooperating teacher proceeded to begin explaining that we were not looking to change his mind, but that he would be responsible for understanding the material for our test and it was likely to come up on other standardized tests that he would need to get into a good school. I had a longer conversation with him, too, about how hearing new ideas doesn't threaten you, that keeping on open mind can help you reaffirm your position or change your opinions if necessary. Either way, you're growing and developing a mature understanding rather than regurgitating something.
When I was in high school, I had my parents' opinions. When I went to college, I changed my mind on some things and grew stronger in my understanding and agreement on others. I have never had much of an issue with my religious beliefs and evolution. In fact, the more I studied biology, the more I believed in God, marveling at the wondrous detail put into our world. I have developed my opinion and changed it when new evidence persuaded me that there was a need. I don't begrudge this particular student for being the same way, but I sure hope that he can grow in his understanding, one way or another. Continuing to regurgitate opinions without thinking through them is not a mature opinion. God asks us to have faith, which is not the same as believing in things blindly and without thinking through them.
I've been thinking about this experience for a few reasons recently, one of which is the controversy with the Kentucky County Clerk. In a nutshell, I agree with the tweet that's been posted everywhere, that "No one is being jailed for practicing her religion. Someone's being jailed for using the government to force others to practice her religion."
What's frustrating to me is seeing posts quickly turn to bullying or a screaming match rather than meaningful conversation. I don't like wasting my time hashing through ideas with someone if they're only interested in brow-beating me into their opinion. Politics have a certain flavor of angry, but there's something about religious arguments, when we start talking about how MY church should operate or how MY church should look that turn nasty really quickly.
When it comes to LGBT rights, I hear a certain verse in Leviticus passed around. But no one is spending as much time obsessing over Leviticus 11:10-12 that forbids shellfish or Leviticus 19:19 that forbids wearing polyester-cotton blends. And it wouldn't surprise me if you've heard that before either. The end problem is the same: picking and choosing what you want to follow out of the Bible is shallow theology.
It's not supposed to be easy. You're going to find parts of the Bible that challenge you. People have used the Bible as evidence for why hippies shouldn't have long hair and to reinforce racism and slavery. You can pull so many pieces out of context to back up many, many things. Instead, take the Bible as a whole, look at the context of the people of the time (what it meant to them), and then apply it. Anyone can twist the words to fit their cause. I can take another example out of the Bible: in Matthew 4:6 the devil quotes scripture--let me say that again: the devil can quote scripture. When I hear a single Bible verse to back something up, I stop to question whether this verse fits in with the biblical context. Jesus said a lot about loving people--he didn't do a lot of discriminating, instead calling all of the "undesirables" to him. What I've told my Sunday School class as a take away message is that if you're using the Bible to hurt people, you're using it wrong.
I don't know how people have framed their specific understandings. I cannot assume that someone has or has not done their research and come to the their conclusions through careful consideration. I have talked to people who would rather shout and I have had meaningful discussions. Any time I run into that knee-jerk response, though, of raising the voice and turning to accusations, it never inspires confidence. It seems that the less evidence and/or reasoning a person has, the sooner they fall into attacking.
We talked about some of these aspects with my junior/senior high Sunday School, that taking the Bible out of context does not relay the actual intent, that using the Bible to hurt people is wrong, and that unfortunately sometimes those with the most extreme views scream loudest. I imagine, with no specific evidence, that we feel about WBC the same way that most Muslims feel about extremists. We discussed situations where someone learns that you identify as Christian and their whole manner toward you changes or at least there are some comments about whether or not you act like how they think a Christian should.
Christians have a terrible reputation overall as being judgmental and being exclusionary. I've seen both Christians and non-Christians that embody these traits. Essentially, all humans like patterns and we try to predict behaviors on what we've seen before. It's when we let these assumptions affect how we treat people, where we fail to give people the benefit of the doubt and only have these suppositions as evidence, that we run into trouble. Judging people is not a uniquely Christian problem--it's a human thing--and it's a really hard habit to get out of. Perhaps what makes Christian judgement different is that pulling out a Bible and brokering no further argument is a rather frustrating side to be against.
When dealing with issues of morality and justice, it's easy to jump onto a Facebook bandwagon. We tend to read and follow those with similar opinions because we like the validation. When secure that others are in agreement, sometimes what we say becomes vicious and judgmental of the opposition--they must be stupid/misguided/uneducated/etc. But looking into the other side of the argument is what will actually give your understanding and your position strength. And how will we deal with being judgmental? By remembering that the other party has agency and won't necessarily fit into the boxes we put them in. Again, looking at their side of the story will create a deeper understanding, either to reaffirm what you know about them or change your mind. People have reasons for being the way they are--not excuses, per say, but reasons.
So the takeaway message, I suppose, is not to take anything completely out of context. The Bible, people, situations, etc. all have contextual background that can change the conclusions that you draw. Keep a healthy dose of skepticism and an open mind before assuming the worst or accepting something blindly. And once you've figured out how to do that all the time, please teach me how.
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