YOLO Responsibly

It is a natural hazard of the world we live in that money is one of the most common worries.  Purportedly, it is the number one thing that couples argue about.  Andy and I have had many discussions about money and trying to work out between us what our priorities should be, bringing our ideas together.  We've managed to find a good system that works for us for where we are now, though I know many others that have not found that balance quite yet or have been struggling with it for years.  

It has happened more than once that I've been talking to someone and they mention that things are tight right now.  Sometimes this is mentioned to change our plans, that they cannot afford to eat out or they cannot take their turn to treat, and sometimes just because they need vent about something weighing on their mind.  I understand, and I'm not upset to adjust plans as needed.  

Then, sometimes a little while later and sometimes just a breath later, that same person will excitedly tell me about about the shiny, new thing they just got.  I may not show it on the outside, but on the inside, I'm definitely thinking very loudly that they must not be that worried about money, then.  Sometimes the conversation might then fall back to their concerns about bills, and again I just don't understand where their priorities are. 

At some point in our development, someone told us in the grocery story that we couldn't just have that candy bar because we wanted it.  We couldn't grab whatever we wanted in the toy store and walk out without paying for it.  And then as we got older, there were still points where we were told no.  

Sometimes, then, when we're finally in charge of our own money, things get interesting.  When money situations change, hopefully we can plan and adapt to it.  Some of us don't figure it out quickly.  Some of us never seem to figure it out.  We need to remember that just because we want something is not reason enough to necessarily have something.  

Simple, right?  And let's apply it to a broader spectrum:  if what I want harms someone else, that's another situation where wanting something isn't a good reason to have it.  Your wants do not supersede the needs of someone else.  A thief or a rapist decides something that they want is more important than what someone else wants, to the point where they are willing to sacrifice the emotional and physical well-being of another person.  We have the caricature of an evil CEO putting profits over the needs of their workers and a dozen movies where a plucky group of kids or a dog somehow puts said caricature in their place.  These are morally wrong.  But I want to throw this out there, too:  your future self is going to have needs that should be recognized.

But how, then, are we supposed to live life fully if we're so worried about money and otherwise make good decisions?  Andy coined it really well the other day:  we YOLO responsibly in our household.  

For those unfamiliar with the acronym, it means "you only live once."  Think a lower-brow carpe diem, in that this is usually used to justify a stupid decision after the fact rather than a heartening rally to courage.  So, yes, it is a bit of a contradiction to YOLO responsibly.

We have impulse buys from time to time, sure, but not at the expense of things we really want.  We'll have been saving for over two years to go on our Norway trip in February, for example.  Could we use that money to pay off our car sooner?  Sure.  Andy and I went to Portland last weekend (more details later) which was an additional expense, but it was absolutely worth it and I would do it again.  Could we have put that money toward our student debt?  Maybe.  

We have in different situations weighed the options and calculated the cost, finding ways to cut costs with hotel points and whatever else.  And at these different times Andy and I found a line:  I call it the "Screw it, I'm doing it anyway" line.  

Where this line is for everyone, I cannot rightly say.  Everyone has different priorities that I'm not fully privy to.  Furthermore, it can be very blurry when there are things that you want but things that might slow you down from getting the things that you really want.  Finding when it is right to cross this line requires perspective and some maturity.  To understand whether this is a decision that might impact your future self or someone else means that you need awareness of what some of those future wants might be.  

That's the responsibly part.  I think the "Screw it, I'm doing it anyway" part is much more self-explanatory.  Sometimes, we just need to take a jump and have an adventure, finding those moments that make up a rich life.  

Andy and I have found our balance for this point in our lives and we have strong communication, particularly with any decisions that involve a large expenditure.  It has meant passing on things that we want for things that we want more.  Bills are prioritized, then paying off debt to give us the freedom to do what we really want, when we figure out where life is going to take us next.  And yet, we still find a balance in taking some adventures along the way.  

I wish I had some clear lines for when it's okay to jump and when you should let an opportunity slide (possibly painfully) by.  Find what works for you and what adventures you need to fill the in between.  YOLO responsibly, my friends.