Friday, January 20, 2017

Tightrope Down the Middle

Unsurprisingly, Facebook right now is a veritable minefield.  Everyone has an opinion about what is happening in our country right now.  So far, I've tried to walk a difficult line down the middle, pleading that we all try to see from the others' perspective.  For my own peace of mind, though, I need to take a more aggressive stance today.  

I am sick of this idea that name-calling or dismissal is the same as proving your point.  For example:  "Oh, you're just mad that your candidate lost" or "You've been brainwashed by Fox News" or "oh, it's another entitled millennial."  And then walking away as though that somehow clinches your argument and made all of your opponents points and/or feelings invalid.  

Grow the hell up.  

This is not an argument, dismissing someone wholly and completely.  It's all kinds of logical fallacy (Red Herring, Irrelevant Appeals, Ad Hominem, I could go on), and while you might feel momentarily superior, A) that did not win the argument, B) it keeps us further from the truth, C) you've alienated any potential future audience particularly with this group, and D) resorting to these fallacies means that somewhere your argument is not strong enough to carry a point on its own, meaning that you should probably form some more coherent reasons.  

Anyone saying the former, the "You're just mad that Hillary Clinton lost" or "Trump won; GET OVER IT" crowd:  

Yes.  We know.  And while there might still be some frustration there, that does not mean that everything else said after the fact is stemming purely from that frustration.  Obama won both elections cleanly and that did not stop people from criticizing him--why was that okay and criticizing Trump magically not okay?  How did you feel when you were told "you lost; just get over it?"  I've had this twice now, from Hillary Clinton supporters telling me to fall in line when she beat out Bernie and now Donald Trump supporters trying to tell me to do the same.  I'm sorry if/when someone else did this to you, but that does not make it okay to use this as your primary point.  People have real concerns about this transition, again, having accepted that this is what happened.  

Myself, the possible repeal of the Affordable Care Act and in particular the pre-existing condition clause has me scared for myself and others.  I know first-hand how much maintenance medication can cost and how I feel even trying to stretch out that interval a week, let alone more if that's what you're trying to do to stretch your dollar.  If you cannot pay for your medication because you were suddenly thrown off of your health insurance, that means that you're not taking it as prescribed, which can be dangerous for all kinds of reasons--in my case, it would mean slowly disintegrating until I could not longer work and then fall into complete bankruptcy while my health is being held for ransom.  Perhaps you think I'm being melodramatic, but if you know my history, you know that I've seen the numbers and run them through my head more than once, what I would have to do to survive without health insurance.  Are you going to tell me that my fears are completely unfounded, when I have a damn good idea of what it's like to waste away to Crohn's?  Even if you retort with some logic, that this clause would ultimately be saved, etc., I still have that fear and it helps me to at least have that acknowledgement that I'm afraid.  Disregarding that entirely by saying "get over it" certainly doesn't help.  Why would that help anyone else? 

As for other concerns, people might be looking for red flags, sure, but that doesn't mean that there aren't any.  Everyone has a bias and is looking for information to feed that bias, but that doesn't mean that there is no evidence.  Donald Trump is a textbook narcissist.  That is why a great many people are concerned.   

Are there bitter people out there right now, working through their own mourning process?  Sure.  Does that invalidate all of the points that they are making?  Absolutely not.

Anyone saying the latter, the "You're just regurgitating Fox News" crowd:  

I don't care if they're quoting Hannity directly--clearly they at least agree with some of these ideas.  And there are reasons why.  Just saying someone is brainwashed (true or otherwise) disregards these reasons and their feelings.  I think that this phenomena has contributed to where we are now, certainly:  there were and are a LOT of people that feel disregarded and ignored, enough that they were willing to overlook blatant racism and misogyny to just simply be heard.  What is so important to people that they are willing to overlook other warning signs?  Have you asked or listened for the answer?  And why silence more people in the same way?  

I find this tactic almost as offensive as "You're just an entitled millennial" or "You're a woman; what do you know?"  Again, taking an opinion or characteristic about a person to disregard their whole argument gets us nowhere. 

What have you done to help broaden their news base?  Have you been constantly critical of what they're doing or have you made some neutral suggestions?  Yes, there is a way to introduce new ideas without being an ass about it or belittling their choices.  Find out what these concerns are instead of writing them off.  Allow people who feel that have been ignored to freely speak again.  That's where we'll find common ground.  I'm going to say this again and plainly:  these people have legitimate concerns, too.

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So what does this all mean?  I'll start with "Stop trying to take shortcuts out of arguments just because someone challenged something you said."  Facebook is not actually full of only people who agree with you, believe it or not, and freedom of speech is not only for people that agree with you.  If you're going to voice a thought publicly, chances are someone is going to view things a different way.  If you cannot handle that responsibility, reconsider posting.  If you're going to instigate a conversation, have a conversation rather than a shouting match. 

Seriously, at least keep the name calling out of it.

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