Advice

There are a lot of uncertainties right now in the world.  And folks in our nursing program are feeling a very particular brand of this pressure right now.  We could not be in person for this first stretch of class, most notably the labs and clinicals.  It is difficult to, say, practice IV insertion without a manikin arm or needles because they were not something dispersed in our supplies kit, for safety, certainly.  It's not what anyone was hoping for, but it's what we have to do for the time being.  Fall hasn't been fully sorted out yet, for that matter.

We have staff steadily working to design ways to provide both practice and make-up times, pantomiming what parts we can in the meanwhile.  In short, we're focusing very much on that essential nursing skill of flexibility with a touch of improvisation.  I have some folks within my circle that can provide me with some assurances, too, that some hospitals have a specific hiring process for new nurse graduates that involves additional training time that is likely to be altered to reflect these kinds of needs.  It seems that most hospitals have some kind of onboarding process that includes how certain skills are to be done to the facility's policy specifics.  

That said, that's the logical side of things.  Fear isn't always logical.  And with so many things uncertain in this time, well, I've also had some shower conversations with myself.  

I've spun the internal argument to my shampoo bottles a few different ways, ensuring my hypothetical employer that I am worth taking the risk, that I there is less that they will have to unteach me and that otherwise I am a fast learner that is comfortable asking questions.  

And I also think of a piece of advice that I was given a while back now.  There was a man in this group that said there were times he felt inadequate.  Everyone at the table immediately began to insist that he was capable and other kinds of sincere rebuttal, all of which he waved off and continued:  "I may not be the best man for the job, but I'm going to work hard enough that it isn't going to make a difference."  

I have been thinking about this a lot in my current context.  My circumstances in nursing school are no one's fault, and I will still bear the weight of the effects, but I will practice and I will work hard enough that it's not going to make a difference.  

The feelings of frustration are real; so is my determination as well as my resignation that the situation isn't what anyone expected.  All exist in the same space.  

...aaaaaand even with that momentary boost of confidence and certainty, it's time to panic about the three tests I have next week.