When I introduce myself to my patients, I usually have to repeat my name at least once. Hell, when I introduce myself to anyone, I usually have to correct away from "Melissa, Marissa, Clarissa, etc." I've gotten used to throwing up an "L" with my left hand when I'm wearing a mask, to help emphasize on the repeat. I even have catchphrases around the reply, the first being "Yeah, I don't meet too many of me," and if they compliment my name, I say "thanks! I got it for my birthday." Either of them might earn me a chuckle.
It can be annoying sometimes, but I take it with a sense of humor. Yes, I never did have pencils or pre-made tiny license plates with that name on them. After thirty-five years, I'm prepared. At Starbucks, I'll either say "Andy" since we share a rewards account there anyway or say my name and "however you spell it will be close enough." In places where it needs to get correct, I have reverted to the phonetic alphabet more than one time (Lima Alpha Romeo India Sierra Sierra Alpha) for absolute clarity. Every now and again that there's a friend or family member with my name, we have a small bonding point. I am the only Larissa employed at the hospital, which means that I literally called in to pick up a shift and only had to say my first name. On the other hand, I cannot blame another Larissa if they were not particularly fond of me.
My parents have always told me that they chose my name because it means "laughter," which I like to think has proved fitting. I appreciate my name, spelling corrections aside. However, that is not to say that I have not found different expressions of it. I have had many nicknames in the course of my life.
I can tell a bit about where I knew a person from in my past based on what nickname they call me. Anyone that calls me "Roo" knew me as a small child. A couple friends in later elementary called me "L.Roy." "Rissa" was a lot of junior high through high school. Both "Rissa" and "Ris" through a lot of college and with some adult friends. "Lar-Lar" and its derivative "Larizard" came from working at a summer camp. "Reesie" came from a particular friend. And then as a professional at Skyward and the hospital, mostly "Larissa." Sometimes still "Ris," but the folks I met from work still mostly use my full name.
I'm curious what nicknames I might acquire a little further into my career at the hospital, if my name will organically shorten or change here, too. I can think of one body from work that has been calling me "Rissie-Ris" which has added to my sense of community, and for others I suppose we simply haven't talked about it yet. When Andy and I started dating, he very intentionally switched from "Ris" to using my full name, as if marking the transition in his own way. I don't necessarily have a preference to or away from nicknames, but I recognize the places I have been given them over time, acknowledging the sense of belonging either way, by being given a name or simply by being invited to join.
And that's the kicker for me, really: I am not terribly picky about what I'm called (within reason) provided that I am included. There are unspoken ways that others want to be included, sometimes designating those terms by a preferred name and sharing their pronouns. I can think of a couple of hurtful names I've been called, too, and how that was exclusionary in itself. One of the first questions I ask my patients is what they prefer to be called, not taking liberties with the information I already know about them without some degree of consent, a small concession in the power differential between us as clinician v patient. Sometimes, the answer is "Mrs. Smith" or their middle name or something else that had not been yet updated to my paper, but either way I allow them space to frame how they are to be met in that space. I choose to include them how they want to be seen. To that degree, I subconsciously use my full name at work as a way to create space professionally, to mark the role and also help set the space for myself, establishing which version of myself I choose to project.
My name and its derivatives are snapshots of different facets of me. Additional ones may spring up in the future, as I continue to meet new parts of myself in new contexts. And I'm excited to see that growth.
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