Some Christmas Spirit

I'm not sure whether it's the political nature going on right now, actual nature being confusing, or some mixture of all kinds of things, but I've noticed that I'm not the only one that has been struggling to find some Christmas spirit this year.  It took some doing, but we came around to it in the end.  

 We started with cookies at the Big Peterson House.  Decorating cookies was not something in my family tradition growing up, but I've quickly found that this was a tradition I very much enjoy.  

FEAR MY DUCK ARMY, conquering a cookie tray near you.

And some Christmas presents are always lovely.  

Andy needed someone to play with.

...And became the first casualty.  He admits I won the first bout.

Started off at the Big Peterson House, had our church events, went to Indiana, went back to the Big Peterson House, and went to Hopedale so far.  I have another stop this weekend, and Andy and I will both be going to St. Louis after that and then to another friend's house the weekend after that.  I plan to be very stationary the next weekend.

One way or another, Christmas has begun to mean "busy" more than what it ought to mean.  Historically, I've been able to separate it out very well, and there is no doubt in my mind that when I'm actually with my family and friends that I'm glad I came.  However, there is no denying that there are extra plans and responsibilities that come with Christmas now, requiring a great deal of foresight and organizing.  And Andy and I are certainly blessed that we have people who want to spend time with us.  The crux of the question becomes whether I need to change my understanding of what the Christmas Spirit is?  The religious implications haven't changed, but the carefree components and the unrestrained joy/excitement have been ebbing away as the years go on.  

This isn't inherently bad.  It's just a different, older perspective.  What Christmas means to me now just isn't the same that it used to mean me.  It has grown, and so have I.  Christmas didn't feel like Christmas this year more because I was expecting it to feel like it used to.  The last couple of years I've expected it to feel like it used to.  What was different about this year was this is the first year really that I've been able to have a more active role, since the last few Christmases I was more of a passenger--energy is still not where I remember it being, but I have made some wonderful strides, able to actually move from one stop to the next for at least a little while.  Wrapping/buying/bringing presents, plotting destinations, car tetris, coordinating with people, bringing baked goods, and more, there are a few components that require my attention.  

Christmas Spirit wasn't so much missing as overshadowed.  Reminds me of Martha from the Bible, so caught up in the details that she forgets to enjoy Jesus' presence.  I suspect I will have a few more years to figure out how to get better at this.  In the meanwhile, that feeling is here, when I remind myself to stop and simply enjoy.  

...And I'm going to pointedly ignore the fact that two things might have just added to my calendar for this next week and read my new book instead.