Waiting for a Package

I went in for some retail therapy the other day, and I bought a skirt from ModCloth.  It's adorable.  I will be a little upset if it doesn't wear as well on me as I'd like.  So, I've been keeping one tab open on the top of my screen at work that has the tracking information.  Randomly throughout the workweek, I've been returning to the screen to see if the truck/plane/carrier pigeon has stopped somewhere else yet.  

Come on, REFRESH. REFRESH.

What is it about expecting a package that can suddenly make you feel that you have purpose in the world?  

And yet, I know that when the package finally arrives, that I will be excited to rip it open, and yet there will be another part of me that is a little bit depressed that I am no longer waiting on something.  It's the same kind of depression that happens when I finish a book that I've thoroughly enjoyed or a season of something on Netflix that had me excited.  I've been trying to find if there is a word for this, specifically, but have come up dry so far, other than "post-book depression."  

Or perhaps, I could just parse it down to the idea that now I have nothing to look forward to. 

That's not to say that I no longer have any desire to keep on living, but that thing that I was really anticipating--either wanting to get back to my book or know that my package had arrived--is now not there anymore.  The anticipation is over.   And now begins the search for something to fill that gap again.

The anticipation is why we tend to like Christmas.  A lot of those Christmas activities are all about preparing for that day, including but not limited to:

1. Baking
2. Decorating cookies
3. Gift shopping
4. Gift wrapping
5. Creating your own gift list
6. Decorating the house
7. Advent Calendars
8. Preparing a meal
9. Getting a fresh pine tree or your artificial one out of storage
10. Readying the house for incoming family/friends

For me, my real "it's really the Christmas Season again" marker is the Festival of Trees.  And this year, I'm already really looking forward to it.  I'm specifically planning to wear this skirt to said event.  So in waiting for this package, I'm preparing to prepare to prepare, oddly enough.  That anticipation can be stressful (waiting for test results, waiting to hear from a loved one that hasn't checked in, etc.), and there are many that find that anticipation to be more of a dread, depending on what kind of weight this holiday season means specifically to you.  

But so far, this year, it's sending me back to a pleasantly nostalgic place.  All entirely triggered by a package coming in the mail.

And it might have arrived today!