Hello from the Other Side

I've been debating how and when to write a post here; don't want to put out an official good report only to rescind it a few days later and otherwise it's genuinely hard to know where to begin--time to deploy the bulleted list!

• I am home.  Arrived the Sunday afternoon after, having discharged out of the hospital last Saturday and driven to a halfway point in the Wisconsin Dells to break up the trip.  The first night out of the hospital always makes me question why I left the hospital--after the first day after surgery, it is easily the next worse; this was at least better without the stress of seven hours of driving.
• Still congratulating myself on my foresight in renting an electric lift recliner for a month.  Makes getting up much easier when that transition is tricky.  One of my favorite things to do right now is to stare at Andy with a fixed, crazed smile while rising up.  
• The surgery went better than anticipated.  We had gone in with the plan to leave as much colon as possible, and it turned out that most of it was healthy enough that they only needed to take out the last bit, which means I approximate that I have lost about two feet of my colon, collectively.  
• Since I was doing so well after surgery, we rearranged the care structure a bit, and it was just Andy and I for the first week.  I would say for him it was almost a stay-cation:  yes, he was helping me in a number of ways, but we also just had some quality time together.
• Been trying to come up with a snappy reply if I am in a situation where someone calls me an asshole, maybe along the lines of how I can't be because I had mine removed.  Haven't landed on anything there yet.  
• Still doing very well, especially with the context we had coming into it.  This is the healthiest that I've been going into a surgery in a long time, and all that preparation really did pay off.  
• We're trying to establish what the new normal is going to be.  
• Rather than languishing in recovery, I instead have to remember to not overdo anything.  My, it is strange.  
• The bruises on my arms are starting to fade, finally.  In the hospital, to reduce the chances of blood clots, I received two shots of heprin every day, into the back of my arms.  After a few days in the hospital, the backs of my arms were solid shades of purple.  
• Since I am more prone to dehydration with less colon, I need to keep a close eye on what empties out into my bag.  Preempting a loose stool day, I asked my mother to buy me some marshmallows, since historically these have helped in the past.  My mother bought both a regular bag of marshmallows and one that was candy corn flavored and shaped.  As Andy has an amusing dislike of candy corn, he had a thing or two to say about them.  A few days later, I asked him to pass me the atrocity marshmallows, and he knew exactly what I was talking about.
• Sang a bit in church the other day and noticed how my stomach muscles really are involved in singing:  on the one hand, yay that I was using right-ish form; on the other hand, ow ow ow ow ow.
• As I attempt to structure days now that encourage something that strikes a balance between activity enough to stave off boredom but not so much activity as to be overwhelming at set me back, most of what I look for now is some flavor of human contact for at least a little time every day.  
• I'm back to a general diet now, the first two weeks eliminating all fresh fruits and vegetables.  Not ready to try eating a salad yet, necessarily, but it's nice to incorporate a good variety of whatever for now, at least before I switch back into my ketogenic diet again. 
• With how the surgery went, I was brought back from recovery around three in the afternoon, I'm told, but I genuinely don't remember anything until around seven, seven-thirty that evening.  Lots and lots of sleeping.  Don't mind a bit of Versed, the medication that keeps you from forming new memories, from time to time.  The last thing I remembered was around maybe 0830 or 0900, when they were prepping me for a spinal injection to help mitigate the post surgery pain, not even the shot itself.  
• At this point, probably the most encouraging sign that things are going well is that I am already off of hard drugs, switching to regular, over-the-counter acetaminophen.  I still feel as though I'm pushing my luck by writing that.
• Still have those moments from time to time where I wonder how many things I have done for the last time.  I don't think the list will be as long as I suspect, but more in the vein of doing X without worrying about Melvin.  
• I had one surgical drain placed.  And I am pleased to say that this was taken out before we left.  I am still a little annoyed at the resident that took it out, because he assured me it would be fine in such a way that I believe he has taken these out several times but has never experienced one himself.  That sucker was deceptively long and decidedly uncomfortable to just pull out.  However, I am more pleased that I didn't have to worry about carrying for it at home or finding a local radiologist that worked with my insurance, etc.  
• I was able to graduate quickly to unassisted showers without the shower chair.  Trust me when I say that this is a luxury that most take for granted.
• On the trip coming home, there were a couple of ladies at the Wendy's we stopped at who came separately to my table while I was waiting for the rest of my crew to order and return to ask me if I was okay/needed help.  I was about four days post-op at that point and told them so, thanking them for their concern, but I must have looked like hell.
• The nurses and staff did very much appreciate the Pin the Bag on the Ostomy game.  Yes, we definitely brought it with us.  
• They DID try to give me the wrong antibiotic at first.  However, one of the plastic surgeon fellows was in the room at the moment, and not only did he see my expression but he had also heard one of my tirades about said medication.  As a result, he jumped in immediately, saying that we would get it switched and I would not be taking it.  I was grateful, and at the same time the wind had been taken out of my sails a bit, because I have that fight perfected in my head.
• I know people say and do weird things coming off of anesthesia, and I have a small fear that I will do or say something hurtful.  According to my family, all I did this time was make some faces and ask the same questions a few times.  

I am not sure how many times I have come back in, edited or added on bullet point, and left the screen.  Even with components going well, there's still a lot to process yet.  And at this point, what I have to report is good news, so why question it further?  In the future, I'm sure I'll have more to say about life with Melvin as we all make our adjustments to one another.  There will more to say, too, about the experience itself and how wonderfully supportive a great number of you have been throughout the process.  For now, however, this small dump of things is a part of how I need to reestablish this habit, as I work toward reestablishing all else again.  

Our sincere thanks to all of you, and our very real affection to you as well.