Change My Mind

There's a meme floating around the internet, as memes do, that looks something like the following:  

For the sake of accuracy, the original text was "Male Privilege is a Myth--Change My Mind," but that specific argument is not the focus of what I want to discuss today.  Sometimes these memes are funny and innocuous, with a playful debate that builds underneath.  Sometimes these are intended to make someone mad, full-trolling to instigate argument for the enjoyment of pissing people off.  

Let's take a look at the picture, here.  The person in it, and by proxy the person sharing the image, makes a statement and issues a challenge.  They then sit down in their chair, self-importantly drinking coffee/tea.  The poster puts up the pretense of wanting to discuss the issue, but puts the burden on the other party, demanding justification from the other side with an edge of self-righteousness.  It's clear that the poster of the image has no intent to consider the other side.  They're not willing to do any of the work, just sit here and demand that someone else cater to them, demanding evidence that they are prepared to deflect possibly with logic, but often by distraction, ad hominem attacks, or a number of other logical fallacies.  

There is a population of Facebook that approaches their shared content this way.  "Here's my statement.  I won't actually consider your position, but I will pretend to on the surface, relying more on knee-jerk responses and assume everything other than agreement is personal insult."  You can share whatever you'd like to on social media--it's your prerogative--but if you're not prepared to discuss it or deal with the fallout, maybe think twice.  Not everyone is going to agree with you and you're not guaranteed that they will be nice about it.  I'm not saying that you should refrain from posting controversial material.  Rather, I want to emphasize that it's disingenuous to say that you want to start a discussion where you're not planning to also consider what else is being said.  Having a conversation, even a heated one, is okay; pretending that you want to have a conversation when you only want people to pat you on the back and tell you you're right and then blast anyone that suggests something different, that's not okay.  Please be honest with yourself, if no one else, in this case.

Which means that naturally I must also consider how I approach these arguments as well as other beliefs and thoughts.  There are some places where I'm more receptive to new ideas than others--this is true for all people, that we're more flexible in some areas than others.  I want to believe that good, credible evidence will sway my opinion.  In most places, I think it does, anyway.  But I know there are some places where I cling to my biases a little more fervently.  

I'm not threatened by new ideas, and I appreciate new perspectives.  New thoughts and perspectives can help me decide whether my old biases need to be abandoned, need to shift a bit, or are still correct with this new evidence.  If you're afraid to hear new ideas, not only is an opportunity missed to learn something new, but your old biases are weaker for having missed an opportunity to get stronger, if that makes sense.  I'm not going to say that you should change your mind as soon as someone presents a different perspective--instead, I would say that I see only aspects to gain when looking at new ideas.  If someone is threatened by learning more about something or hearing a different perspective, my knee-jerk response is to assume that this particular belief, while deep rooted for that individual, is shallow.  If you cannot explain your position well, then how well do you really understand it?  Think about every interview where the individual's reply is something along the lines of "well, it just is" or similar--do you believe that they know what they're talking about or have thought through why they hold that particular position to expect that to be a strong clincher for their argument?  Have you ever had someone try to explain why a racist or sexist joke is funny?  It usually ends with a "well, you know," but I keep pressing for that explanation of why it's funny,  watching as they dig the hole deeper.  I've known deeply religious people that have fifth grade understanding of the Bible or theology in general.  I've seen people argue about politics on all sides that are clearly repeating someone else's talking points without thinking through them.

It's important to be able to explain your position in your own words, which allows you to find the gaps and really internalize where you stand.  

I expect my mind to change.  I expect my mind to grow.  I will gain more experiences and perspectives and choose where I need to realign my biases, probably push back on a couple if I'm honest.  I know there are elements that I have written in past blogs that I will change my mind on, as new evidence comes to light.  But I know that there are core elements that won't shift nearly so much.  It's hard to change, and, again, I welcome it some in more arenas than others.  But I do accept its inevitability, which seems to help.  Being uncomfortable can be a good thing.  The key, I think, is to allow yourself to be open to new ideas and to be aware of what your own biases are.  It takes time and effort to reach a level of self-awareness needed to identify these biases.  However, knowing these pressure points will only help you in finding the truth.