The Post-Goal Depression

Whenever I finish a book or a major goal, there's a particular kind of depression that sinks in.  I swear, there has to be a German word for it, but I've found it called a "book hangover" or "post-series/book depression."  

I have been so absorbed in finishing that book that it has colored my day, and suddenly that urgency is gone.  Or for a more specific example, our last major goal of finishing our student loans, I find myself listless when strategizing our next paycheck--I looked forward to payday on the hopes that I might be able to throw just a little bit more toward paying them off.  It was exciting to watch those numbers start to go down, to feel that we were finally at a point to start making tangible progress on this particular debt.  This was exciting; this helped tough weeks pass along; this factored into nearly all of our purchases, whether we could pick up fast food on our way home today or buy that ceiling fan for our dining room this month.  This kept us on budget, and it kept us encouraged.  When we hit specific milestones, we had reason to celebrate.

...and that's suddenly gone.

It's WONDERFUL to have checked that off of our list.  But this particular malise is what I'm meaning, that weird depression when a goal or something you enjoyed is completed.

For myself, when it's a book or series that I've just finished, I drift around until I find a new one.
I mourn the loss of immersion in that world and feeling what those characters were feeling.  For our household goals, we seem to have an odd refractory period, where we take a few months to figure out what we're doing next, let the energy dissipate and then pull it back in when we're ready to identify and attack that new goal as though we were surprised by our own success.

I already know what our next house goal is, to pay off the car, but I want to allow myself to feel the absence of the previous goal first.  Post-book, I can take a moment to recognize what I appreciate from that particular media and better assess what I liked and did not like about it, out of the ravenous push to finish it (the goal always to experience more rather than reach the end).  Post-house goal, I want a bit of time to adjust to life with that change, meaning that we'll have a month without that automatic student loan payment, I think, before I reconfigure all the pieces in our budget again.  It's definitely one of the weirder griefs that I can think of, but it is a particular flavor blend of grief and satisfaction to check something major off of the list.

There is rest in those moments.  There is gratitude.  And there is confusion.  And this particular edge of grief.

Good timing for a distracting vacation (and a reason to buy a new book...)!