Hype Poisoning

I have put out a blog post before about my reluctance to like something just because it's popular, specifically referring to it as a "Hipster Mentality," but there is a piece that I want to better define, something that is actually a more accurate term in my case.  

Hipster Mentality is more toward the idea of X is cool or uncool based on when you were exposed to it (i.e. "before it was cool"), how outside of popular culture a particular something was, and its value fluctuating when its popularity shifts.  There's an element to this in how I approach things, that I don't expect something to be good because it's popular, that I prefer to weigh the opinions of people I trust over a broader public opinion, but then again I do read the reviews on Amazon products before I buy, noting the ones that have more positive reviews.  This is a bit more scientific, running a survey with a large pool of voices to find a mean, but its popularity was probably how I found it in the first place.  And there are still going to be those instances where I want to check something out of curiosity, to see what the fuss is about, such as a YouTube video phenomena.  

I don't think that the things I like are less valuable when other people start to enjoy it--I got on the Harry Potter train just after book three was released, before the big BOOM that was book four.  But this franchise has faded in my mind, not because it got popular but because of the other side of the coin--hype poisoning.  

I think that rather than holding a "hipster mentality," I'm more sensitive to hype poisoning.  Ever have a friend that was OBSESSED with that one TV show?  That one.  The one that everyone else seemed to be talking about?  Imagine hearing about this particular show many, many times, gushing about how you NEED to watch it--maybe from the same source, maybe from different ones.  Checking in with you to see if you have yet because you "will totally love it!"  They quote the show at you even though the references are over your head, smiling at others who get the references in their own little club.  There's a shift somewhere in there, where most anyone would go from willing to give the show a try one of these days to doing everything possible to avoid it.  

For me, that line comes pretty quickly.  The more I am assured that I'll just love it, it's amazing, etc., the further I dig in my heels against it.  There is a way to check in and encourage without flipping this switch; more often, though, people turn me off of the things that they love than I would like to admit.  

Here's my best example:  I have zero interest in the Final Fantasy video game franchise.  Rather, I have negative interest.  A fan of the series with nostalgia glasses immediately balks when I say I haven't played any of these, that the story is just so good and I should definitely give them a try.  Effectively, they've set back that "well, maybe I will give this a try" day back at least another six months.  The longer the conversation and the more didactic it is, the longer that I am assured I will not have anything to do with this.  

Related:  shaming people for having not experienced a book, tv show, know who a celebrity is, etc. does not help the cause of sharing the experience with a new person.  

For example, if someone were to say "I've never seen Star Wars."

Shaming responses:

• How have you not seen that?!
• Do you live under a rock?
• I'm going to make you watch it!

Encouraging responses:

• Oh, you're in for a treat!
• Would you like to watch it together sometime?  I'd love to share it with you.
• That's okay.  There are a lot of pop culture references that would make a lot more sense, if you'd like to see it sometime.

The likelihood of me actually trying out the show/movie/book is significantly decreased by the former, warmed significantly by the latter.  

When something cannot live up to the hype, it has been hype poisoned.  Or maybe it wasn't that good to begin with.  Either way, we're in this awkward place of disappointed.  In other words, being turned off of something entirely is acute hype poisoning.  Something trying to live up to impossible expectations is its lesser form, but certainly the more common one.  

For example, you've been told by so many people that a particular book was great, if it isn't a god amongst books, you may leave disappointed, having your expectations raised significantly.  I try to actively prevent this when I am going on a trip--I don't want to overhype something in my mind that can inhibit my full experience of the trip, trying to compare something against an ideal.  Sometimes, this means I actively won't talk about the details of an upcoming trip, to let it be what it is rather than expand on what I expect it to be.  

So where's the line?  That depends.  If I have been berated for not having experienced something, once is enough, and any subsequent instance only affirms my disdain.  However, telling me how much I'm going to love it, say, four times, even though it is kindly meant and not an order will start to make me suspicious, that the weight of expectation is there and does not allow me to experience whatever it is fully.  In short, hype poisoning can be instantenous or a slowly accumulating condition.  Andy has adjusted to this, knowing that he can only push a suggestion so far before he needs to let me come around to it on my own time; by contrast I've learned not to be surprised when he hasn't seen one movie or another and offer opportunity but not expectation.  There are other times, too, where we will be very direct, along the lines of "this is something that's very important to me, and I would like to share it with you, if that's okay."  This involves a request for consent and a clear intention--if a small gesture can mean a lot to the other, of course we'll weigh that into the decision, but it's still a choice rather than a decree.  

We all like to share the things that we enjoy, but how we share them is still important.