Tuesday, May 12, 2020

BTS: Nursing Prep

I mentioned in a previous blog post that this whole process of getting into the ISU nursing program had a number of steps.  Let's hit the highlights with a bulleted list!
  • Applied in February of 2018
  • Found out I was accepted into the accelerated program in August 2018
  • I was missing four of the prerequisites that I would need before program start, May 2019 in theory meaning two courses per semester on top of full-time work
  • Andy had just changed jobs--based on that and obligatory pace of the remaining prerequisites, it made sense to defer and I declined to take part in the program that year
  • Resolved to reapply February 2019, but started remaining prerequisites through Heartland Community College, one class per semester until theoretical new start (since there was no guarantee to be accepted again nor option to defer)
  • Reapplied in February 2019
  • Bought a house
  • Manager above me retired--applied for that position
  • Accepted the manager position in August 2019
  • Two weeks later, was offered a spot in the 2020 accelerated nursing program
  • Paralysis of indecision--it was a really sucky week
  • Put in my grateful acceptance into the program, having finally given myself permission to pursue what was right for me; mentally started preparing myself for the emotional changes ahead
  • Continued to work through remaining missing prerequisite courses around work schedule
  • Paid off all of our remaining student debt (yes, with full knowledge that we would be incurring student debt all over again)
  • More math; lots of math and spreadsheets
  • List of necessary health and other requirements steadily worked through, including booster shots, new vaccinations, forwarding of historical vaccination records, TB test, and CPR class
  • Orientation meeting in January with additional information dump prior to program start
  • Ordered my first set of scrubs with ISU patches
  • Drug test and criminal background check--in the drug test, I was initially told I was "too hydrated," which I think has only been said to three people in the world ever (I normally aim for three liters of water a day...)
  • COVID-19 changed my in-person class to an online class and my in-office job to a remote job
  • Attempted to sign up for classes for that first summer semester, which involved eight emails and a couple of phone calls to sort out what the hell was going on
  • Cried internally when paying for the first load of textbooks, for several reasons--my back, my wallet, and my excitement
  • Made the news known at work
Being able to tell my coworkers and higher-ups sucked, definitely, but it was also very freeing.  I value transparency--at work, I preach it wherever relevant.  So to be preaching transparency while also holding back this huge part of my life and myself, I have been feeling inauthentic for months now, and especially as May 2020 steadily moved closer.  I couldn't really blog about it without breaking some serious social protocol or otherwise playing my hand sooner than I wanted to do, which means I have been denied one of my best processing tools in parts of this transition.  I have written out some pieces (though now largely irrelevant) or talked a few things through with a few trusted sources, but mostly I have been working to catch up on some of this processing now.

What's particularly tough about this, though, is that we've been preparing for a significant life change all of this time, for years now.  In my mind, I've been comparing it to pregnancy:  preparing the space, gathering all of the tools that we'll need, putting our financial affairs in the best order that they could be, finishing any projects that we could beforehand (or otherwise establishing priorities), going to a few extra doctor appointments to ensure that all parts of me that could be addressed were addressed, and emotionally trying to prepare for life to be different after a specific day arrives.  Just without a socially acceptable space or way to talk about it--society at large has patterns for how to properly be happy for someone that is expecting, but this doesn't translate necessarily well to folks embracing other changes in their lives.  I am changing a few parts of my identity, becoming more of who I am.  There's a lot yet to process with that.  

Here's how it starts:  leaving work on Wednesday, attending orientation on Friday, and then classes starting on Monday!  

And there will be many stories yet, my friends.

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