Secret World

So, as I may have mentioned before, living with my husband is a barrel of laughs.  

When we both get tired, we get punchy and ridiculous.  

As an example, Andy went to tickle me the other night.  I turned around to tickle him back immediately and he yelps and cries, "Ah!  Don't tickle me back!  This was supposed to be one-way!  I didn't think things through!"  I have to admit it was an effective strategy because I was laughing too hard to continue.  

Or another night, I don't remember how this was relevant to the conversation, but I brought up gazpacho.  Andy asked, "What, like the Italian mafia?  No, wait, the mafia is Italian."  I replied, "Honey, I think you're thinking of 'gestapo,' and that's German.  And that is still not gazpacho."

This is not to say that I have never had a ridiculous moment or several, but I have conveniently forgotten them just now...

These are just a couple examples of the things that make us laugh in our house.  There are many, many things that take far too much time to explain, are prime examples of "you just had to be there," or are not appropriate for *ahem* polite conversation.  On occasion, I do wish that I could remember or otherwise share because spending time with Andy brings me joy.  On the other hand, we have our own secret world and there is something beautiful about that.  How we act outside of the house?  We really do act about the same, only at a higher concentration with the appropriate amount of lazy because, hey, we're at home.  There are some things that we don't talk about in earnest until we're at home--like not criticizing the service until we've left the restaurant because the kinds of problems weren't worth talking about at the table--but both of us are authentic to ourselves outside of these walls.

So many secrets...

I think everyone's secret world is different.  Mostly because all people are different, yes, but there are also different kinds of strategies for decompressing, maintaining a house, managing bills, etc.  And each house works differently and hopefully works in a healthy way.  Otherwise, we only see what people choose to show us.  Some people match their mask closely, some do not.  I argue that either way, the mask is there.  If masks don't work for you, I like filters as an analogy even better.  Home, I am darn-near unfiltered.  In certain company, I have a certain filter--"me" is still coming through, but select parts of "me" that are appropriate for the situation.  How much we allow people to see, sometimes it depends on how hard you push or how you ask.  Truly, some people may choose to never open up to you and that is okay--there are some well-meaning people that you may still not want to spill all your life secrets out to.  

Andy and I find that complete strangers will open up to us on occasion.  Sometimes, we'll be able to stop everything and listen to the person in question and remember that we're all human and need to have that moment.  Other times, we're trying to find the most polite way to extradite ourselves.  I'm not sure specifically what it is about us that makes us trustworthy to strangers and friends.  Maybe it's just as simple as being good listeners?  Bearing that in mind, do some people have more access to secret worlds than others?

Either way, over this long weekend I've had a lot of time to think about how much I enjoy just spending time with my husband.  I'm really thankful for our little world, full of spontaneous songs, ridiculous stories, moments of rest, and whatever trouble we get into next.  

...and you thought you were done with the Thanksgiving sugar coma, didn't you?