With winter making one last big hurrah through Illinois, Andy and I are pleased to see sickness leave our household (knock on wood). Andy had a nasty kind of flu that only lingers now as some remaining fatigue. He tried to isolate himself, but I don't listen well to the "don't come near me; I'm sick," stuff, even though I know it's good sense. I just don't tend to get the things that make sense. I ended up with cold that, while unpleasant, was certainly not Andy's full-blown blah.
What is it like to be sick with Melvin? I'm glad you asked. There are a couple of things I have noticed.
Coughing sucks. Think about the last time that you were up all night coughing and how sore your chest and abs were the next day. Whelp. Sneezing is worse. My abdominal muscles are still a few shades of weak, having been rather disrupted by the whole surgery thing, coupled with the permanent hole through the middle of them. It hurts, actually, when the muscles contract around that permanent wound sharply and strongly. I knew this after surgery, but I am surprised how painful this can still be. Andy and I both sneeze in the presence of bright lights--my whole family does, actually. This is called a photic sneeze and is something purportedly present in about 25% of the population, according to a quick internet search. Growing up, we'd say that the sun made us sneeze. These are especially frustrating when the sun catches a glint of chrome and I have to sneeze while driving--I've thought more than once "this is how it ends." With both coughing and sneezing, I throw an arm over my ostomy to help push against it. The positive pressure on the outside helps stabilize and lessen the shock and thereby the pain. So, with a photic sneeze, I'm trying to drive with one hand, throw another arm to protect my side, and a third arm to cover my sneeze.
...Wait.
So I end up doing an awkward dab trying not to go into oncoming traffic, or hope my elbow is enough positive pressure, or remember to wipe down the steering wheel later.
One more piece to that camp that surprised me a bit: blowing your nose takes some interesting abdominal and diaphragm control. So I have one hand on my abdomen and another hand with the tissue around my nose. And how many prolonged contractions I'm okay with compared to how much snot I need to expel, well, that's the trick. After a question from a friend, I've also had a lot to think about regarding how I breath for singing, too, which might be some additional thoughts on another day.
I'll add one more element to that. I am waiting--waiting--to sneeze or cough in public, with my hand flying immediately to my abdomen in response, and then have the person look at me with a seemingly knowing eye and ask me when the baby is coming. That'll be a fun explanation that I'm not protecting my abdomen for the reason that they think I'm protecting my abdomen. Gosh, I should really think of something quippy for that.
Now, thankfully this time I did not have to worry about symptoms of diarrhea or vomiting, but I know that it will also have its own difficulties. Firstly, the mechanics themselves for vomiting would be similarly uncomfortable, maneuvering all of those abdominal muscles in a strong, involuntary wave. At least I won't have to worry when I'm not sure which end is going to go, I don't have to decide whether I sit on the toilet ready to vomit into a trashcan or try to move back and forth to the toilet as the waves come. It's just a matter of keeping an eye on the bag, that it doesn't get too full. While everyone has to worry about dehydration when sick, I am especially susceptible. The large intestine does a lot of water absorption for the body and I am working at 3/5ths capacity there. I have to be especially vigilant in pushing fluids.
Another weirdness relating to having less colon is that time-release medications are considered a little bit differently. I have seen a twelve hour Musinex staring back up at me from the toilet bowl--it didn't have enough time in my system to work for twelve hours. I'm not sure what else has some different effects as a result, but I read the directions and contraindications just in case.
Other than that, I get to be as miserable as the rest of ya'll when I'm sick. Just need to plan out when to do the next bag changes and continue to eat a lot of soup in the meanwhile. Small modifications within an otherwise normal part of life.
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