So, I had the opportunity at our pinning ceremony last week to say a few words. This came about because I had offered to entertain questions for the incoming class on what to expect in the course of the program. After that experience, I was also offered space to say something at the pinning ceremony a month or two later. Ordinarily, I prefer to have major bullet points and talk through them as preparation, however in this case I needed to adhere to a three to five minute time limit and the remarks needed to approved by the dean first--so I did write everything out this time. It felt a lot like a blog post. The following is a transcript of those remarks.
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Hello all! Thank you
for allowing me to say a few words to and about this accelerated cohort.
We all came into this program for different reasons, with
different contexts and baggage. I came
into this program with some sickeningly type A study skills; others have a
nonchalance about deadlines that I simply can’t understand. Some came in with a clear objective of where
we were going to land and have not wavered; others have allowed the experience
to shape and explore their interests. For
some of us, we will graduate as nurses needing experience for whatever that
next step might be—be it NP, CRNA, or some other flavor of alphabet soup—and
for others this has always been the destination.
And as we were preparing to start this new adventure, the
world around us broke a little bit.
No one had planned on the ‘Rona, and it colored our
experience. The logistics were a
veritable mess to sort through, and I did not envy the powers that be the task of
untangling them. All of our expectations
required significant adjustment and more than once it was highlighted to us
that one of the most important nursing traits was flexibility-- in some ways,
this was far harder on the staff because at least we didn’t have anything to
compare to. Both the frustration and
determination existed in the same space.
On the one hand, we had a more hands-on maternal infant
experience, since we did not have to manage crowd control. We had the opportunity to be participate in
vaccine administration. We have been a
part of changes that will become permanent.
At the same time, we can grieve some of the experiences we missed out
on. These exist in the same space.
And time continued anyway.
In the second week, I recall very clearly looking at the syllabi and
thinking “my God, what have I done?” As
we started to delve into the material, there were places where we recognized
the information was just something we needed to remember but there were also
those spaces where the material had a face, reminding us of someone we knew and
the information was real in visceral ways.
And eventually there were the names and faces of patients that made that
information real all over again. We
started alone on Zoom islands and they steadily became archipelagos.
We all first met in person a week before second term for a
skills day. My favorite part was
realizing how tall people were and whether that fit with the mental image I had
of them. This last term, the water
between the islands dried up and we were together. It required some new logistics, but I found
it to be cathartic, one last hurrah together.
That continued tenacity has brought us through—I won’t say
unscathed, because we all might burn a little sage when we uninstall examsoft—but
we have the foundation to ease into a more apprenticeship phase. Whether we face our new opportunities with
imposter syndrome or find the journey with that sense of coming home, we are
all ready for that next step, for that new sense of becoming in our true skin—these
can exist in the same spaces, too.
Families and friends, you have loved us through these
places, and you’ve been supportive of us when we were caught on mountains of
doubt, even in some places you were low-key terrified of what we were learning. This has meant some repriortization and hard
conversations in different places. Where we go from here will be as unique as
the contexts we brought in with us. We have
met people that we will carry with us; we have people that we are exceedingly
grateful to never be in a group project with EVER AGAIN; and at least this is
the last time some of ya’ll will have to listen to my voice.
Reflecting on this journey and journeys to come, I want to
share a paraphrased quote that has become important to me when processing major
events. “Ten spears go to battle. Nine shatter.
Did the war forge the one that remained?
No. The war only revealed the one
that would not break.”
I wish you all well in your future battles and in your
further discovery of self in those places.
I wish you a well-deserved rest and those that love you a contented
pride. And most of all, I wish you good
health. Congratulations on your
accomplishment. Any questions?
Way to go, Larissa! Very well-earned. I'm so proud of you.
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